Sex Tips for Zombies
1.) No Cure for Crotch Rot
This is the number-one enemy of zombies trying to hook up. Ongoing bodily decay means that your junk will probably fall off at some point. So don’t encourage it by yanking too hard when you jerk off. If you notice you’ve dropped something crucial, pick it up and try to superglue it back on.
2.) Playing with Your Food
Besides being tasty and containing the nutrients that zombies need, brains make an excellent lube for jacking off or intercourse. And if you lick up the gray matter afterwards, you don’t have to waste a drop of precious amino acids.